Dying to Be Wrong

We have all heard the expression "dying to be right". People literally do die to be right, or rather because they believe their system of belief, their ideology is indeed the right one, worth fighting for and in fact dying for. That feels extreme, but I think when examined closely it is not so extreme. We are not all brave soldiers willing to give our physical lives, but we are willing to sacrifice our souls. Who has not experienced that moment with a spouse, friend, parent, or colleague when we are one hundred percent convinced that our way is "the right way"? Maybe it's more efficient, more logical, or even conversely more creative, more beautiful. At the end of the day we are right and we know it, and we want to prove it. I think those moments become less about doing something "the right way" than they are about convincing the other of our own rightness. We lose sight of the fact that “There is none righteous, no, not one.” What’s important is “the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ.” (Romans 3: 10, 21).

Sometimes we may secretly wish harm, distress, or difficulty on another so that they will come to recognize how right we are. In the end we ARE willing to die, but not in a good way, and it is sad, very sad. In the end we create suffering both by wishing (yes even unconsciously) ill on another and also by being stuck and hardened by our own righteousness. Our stubborn, grasping self wants to hold on with all our might, our ego wants that empty pat on its forever-yearning-back.

We convince ourselves of how good we are, desperately justifying our falseness to our deeper truth. “I just want them to learn, it is for their own good. If they don't get it now they'll see when...” We go on and on. Somewhere we know, but we don't want to see the truth of our false righteousness. What we really should be yearning for is dying to be wrong. That sweet moment when we let go of our grasping, longing, justifying, fighting, and release. When we can flow freely like a rolling stream around the rocks and through the crevices. When something comes at us that is just a little too different than our way, but we are able to say: “Hmmm, that's interesting, unusual.” Jumping into the unknown with nothing to prove and everything to gain.

Maybe it will take longer or we will even have to do it again. With a moment of pause perhaps we can change our automatic judgment response of correctness, or rightness to one of acceptance. Maybe we could think something like, if it takes longer great more time with a friend. Allow our initial reaction to softly mold to something new. Create a masterpiece in the mind, not a war zone.

When we can change our grabbing into receiving we might possibly gain an unknown gift that will be revealed through the doing, and the letting go. What a blessing when we die to our hardness and find softness. When we replace stubbornness with willingness, understanding, and patience. What are we trying to hold onto anyway? A thought, an idea, suddenly it seems so silly, so intangible...certainly not worth hurting another or our own souls.