So the
other night I was spending time with P after reading his bedtime story. We were
lying on the bed comfortably, our heads touching. And as usual, P had a lot to
say. Sometimes P can read my mind. If it had only happened once or maybe even
just two or three times, I might put it off to coincidence. But it has happened
so very many times that I no longer do.
I remember reading a book called
"Autobiography of a yogi", and in a certain section, the author is
speaking about his time in India as a young boy. He was at a boy’s camp, maybe
a sort of ashram, and they were forbidden to speak for some time. I don't
remember all the details, but it was for more than an hour, probably at least a
few days, if not a few weeks. He spoke in his book how initially it was
difficult, tempting, and maybe at times frustrating. As time went on though,
something amazing happened. The boys began having conversations and
communicating without speaking. In other words, they could hear each other’s
thoughts and respond in kind.
On this
particular evening with P, he seemed to me to be acting a bit odd. It was
around the time of the super moon. He had a funny, whimsical grin, as if
everything was just a little bit comical, a sort of light-hearted giddiness. I
had not noticed this quality in him before. As I lied next to him, I was
pondering about going more or totally vegetarian. I have always tried to eat a
healthy, varied diet with lots of veggies and fruits, and things that are good
for you. At times I have been vegetarian or cut out all meat and just eaten
fish. When I have been pregnant, I have generally just eaten what my body
craves, and for the most part the same goes for nursing. Since nursing would
probably be winding down within the next six or so months, these subjects were
on my mind. I had already begun to cut back on the amount of meat, and many days
would go by that were already vegetarian.
Suddenly
P blurts out: "We should not eat pigs". "Really?", I say,
just a little taken aback. “Why not?” He responds: "Because they scream
when they die." "How do you know?" "I saw a program on the
TV in France." Hmmm OK, "Well, what about cows?" "No."
"Chickens?" "No, not chickens either, but fish are ok".
I am
amazed. Where is this coming from? He just seems so all-knowing, still with
that odd little comical look. Suddenly in an instant he looks like his usual
self, he waits just a beat and then blurts out with all the huge emotion of a
lion: "But the chicken sandwiches are soooo delicious!!" And there it
is, from the mouth of my babe. There are these parts of our being that know
what is right and good, what might be the best choices at the right times for
our personal health, or perhaps just exercising a higher level of compassion
and empathy to the animals or mother earth. And yet our very humanness is
tempted to satisfy our base desires, be that physically, or emotionally. Both
exist and co-exist and we swing back and forth between our knowing, and our
being, and doing. Sometimes we are trying and other times letting go, because
after all life is sooooo delicious!
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