Calvin came home from work the
other day and told me about a colleague who "cannot do Thanksgiving"
this year because of the election. Daily he comes home and tells me about the latest
conversation, the varying topics that now divide her and her family. It was her
husband who first brought up the notion that her parents "likely voted for
Trump", and with a bit of probing the suggestion was made truth, and her
world began to shatter.
Another friend of mine, a singer
at church, told me on Sunday that he "cannot do Thanksgiving" this
year. He was having a conversation with his parents: his daughters are crying,
they are torn, but cannot be with grandparents who voted for Trump. A father's
heart breaks; this year, they are a family in mourning and disarray.
The ceiling has been broken, but
not in the way we thought. The ceiling of limited thinking has been pried open,
and people are being forced into trying to understand the un-understandable –
and it hurts. I have experienced my own deep pain, not only for the true sorrow
of others’ pain and sadness that I feel in various shades, but also by some of
my personal, deep wounds that were wrenched to the surface. When I tried to
share my personal wounds, I was hit with a backlash of criticism, name calling,
and judgment.
How can standing up for all
women, saying I reject the outdated rhetoric that shames and blames women without
even thinking garner so much hostility? I am baffled...truly. I used an article
which resonated with what I had been feeling. Basically, you can reject what you
believe Trump stands for without feeling the need to denigrate a woman to
justify your stance.
Is this a defense of Melania
Trump? No. Do I think that Melania's pictures, particularly the very sexualized
ones, are a good model for young women? Do they represent sacred sexuality? Do
they conform to many scriptures that advise a certain bodily purity? Of course
not. Do I ideally think that this is good for the spirit and going to help
produce fruits of the spirit? Most likely not. Many would argue that this kind
of exploitation helps to destroy the spirit. Texts dating from thousands of
years, from sages to the Bible, would perhaps confirm that. Am I here with such
high arrogance and intelligence to dismiss these sacred texts? Absolutely not.
In fact, I aim to the best of my ability to not only follow these very
scriptures but to truly honor them.
On the other hand, am I the Creator
of the universe, here to judge all of mankind? Thankfully not. For He is so
much greater and bigger than any of this. I would also add much kinder and so,
so, so, much more forgiving. I know, for I sit in his presence at times and
feel his grace penetrate the depths of my being. That little girl inside was once
told she was too fat, which then turned into not-good-enough, which got piled
on with not-smart-enough, not-nice-enough, not-patient-enough. Enough, enough,
enough! My mind is spinning. Don't worry, I can take control of this situation,
I have got it. I will prove them wrong. I will be thinner; then I will be enough.
I will be better than him or her, I will do and make and be, and, and, and… I
am so very tired.
Then I sit with him again, basked
in his perfect love, and he says: "Silly child, come rest with me, all is
forgiven. In fact, there really was nothing to forgive, you have come to me and
I embrace you fully just as you are.”
I read my feed again. What is so
hard to understand about not blaming and shaming ALL women? I want to scream: “Why
don't you get it?” The same way perhaps others of color or a certain religion
are screaming: “Why can't you get it?”
I want to say, “I do get it.” Yes, my
pain is different than your pain. My walk in this world is not your walk in
this world, but pain is pain, is pain. Where is the empathy, where is the
compassion?
The shard of glass dug deeper
into my already bleeding heart. Does anyone remember Mary Magdalene? Hmm,
interesting thought. Melania Trump has become the archetype of the female prostitute,
and people are eating it up. They have gone from insulting her mildly to
holding up signs that now say: "Rape Melania". Is this the 2016
election, or is this some bad medieval dream? Again people, not about Melania
Trump; this is about honoring the sacred feminine. "There is neither Jew
nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for
you are all one in Christ Jesus."
People are in pain from the
daggers of glass, forcing us to examine our darkest thoughts and deepest
wounds. Some people fear it is the end times. An acquaintance came up to me at
church, someone I know (just a little). She said, “Come here”, and gave me a
hug. "I see people being ugly to you, and I just want you to know I am
here for you." My eyes well up. Kindness and love bring forth the well of
tears that heal the soul.
Let us be healed with His sweet
and perfect water that we may thirst no more. Let us meet the Samaritan woman
at the well, not with judgment and condemnation but with empathy,
understanding, and perhaps with a bit of extra effort – forgiveness. And may we
truly find hope.
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