So the idea of our children being
our teachers is very popular these days.
O LORD, our Lord, how
majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the
heavens. Out of the mouth of babies and infants, you have established strength
because of your foes, to still the enemy and the avenger. (Psalm 8: 1-2)
Jesus
quotes this in Matthew's gospel:
And the blind and the lame
came to him in the temple, and he healed them. But when the chief priests and
the scribes saw the wonderful things that he did, and the children crying out
in the temple, “Hosanna to the Son of David!” they were indignant, and they
said to him, “Do you hear what these are saying?” And Jesus said to them, “Yes;
have you never read, “‘Out of the mouth of infants and nursing babies you have
prepared praise’?” (Matt. 21: 14-16)
I
don't disagree completely, but I do think there is a balance to be found. I am
glad that we are in an age where children are honored as little beings and are
respected enough to have their voices heard. When P responds confidently out loud,
or asks a bold question amidst an adult conversation, my heart smiles. I was
taught children were to be seen and not heard. I had a fear to express myself
freely amidst elders, and even to this day sometimes it takes an act of courage
to just be free to be me. That being said, for me it is equally obvious that
children need, desire and thrive with clear boundaries and strong examples.
They are not all enlightened little Buddhas to be worshiped at every turn. They
test and try the patience of those who love them most, and basic virtues like
sharing, speaking kindly, waiting your turn, etcetera, need to be taught and
practiced again and again. Hopefully we do our best to model good behavior and
are not too proud to admit when we have failed to do so. We can then have the
gift to model humility.
I
really love the authentic originality of pet names that children end up with
from their mommies and families. P has gone from bump, to bumpy, P pod, bug and lately "just P". When Soren was only a few months
old, P wanted to give him a nickname. Soren had particularly
sharp little nails and seemed to like to scratch things to feel them, kind of
like nails on a chalkboard for his mommy and daddy! P came up with the nickname
Rosefingers. I loved it, so sweet. A
few months later when Soren had usurped P's sippy cup with his usual grape
juice / water mix, P came around the corner asking where his cup had gone. I
told him Soren had it. He replied so candidly and honestly in a low gravelly
voice: "Scratchy little hands". I laughed so hard. It was true of
course, but in that moment Rosefingers
had become a disgruntled scratchy little hands.
Isn't it funny how easily our hearts can turn when our will is crossed? Something
originally born out of love and affection turns into the worst of criticisms.
Why are our hearts so fickle? Needless to say "Scratchy little hands"
has stuck and Calvin and I use it regularly with great love towards our little
monster (more recently coined with me and P, monster nuggles). Monster
because he is into everything, and nuggles
from P, for his unique term for Eskimo kisses, which I often give to him, and
now he gives to his little brother.
I
had another interesting learning moment from P the other morning on our way to
church. We were talking en français
about his talent show. He used the word practicer
instead of répéter. We proceeded to
get into a back-and-forth, P absolutely insisting it was a word and me telling him
it was not, then giving him a high and mighty lecture about how I care about
him and that is why I am insistent – ‘that there may be those that will let
mistakes go and continue, and that you will think you are so great when you are
not, and that those who really invest the time and energy to try to teach you
what is right are those that care and want your best. In fact, instead of
arguing back, you should be thankful.’ Calvin told me to drop it, which I did.
P got the last word in insisting that practicer
was indeed a real word. We went into church and per our usual routine I set him
up with some breakfast food in the Parrish hall and sat for a moment with him
before needing to head into the choir room to robe. Suddenly it dawned on me
clear as light. He is thinking of pratiquer,
and it would seem similar in meaning to répéter!
In that moment I was so grateful for his insistence, not shutting down like I
would have. He stood up for something he knew, and maybe it took ten
repetitions to click. Maybe he was being a little stubborn, but so was I. I
apologized and he became his sweetest self. We both laughed about what he was
trying to say and me not getting it. We hugged and he said “you are the best mommy
ever”. It was one of those learning/teaching moments from my P and I felt
grateful.
Lastly
I think about little monster nugggles.
This morning I was trying to get some emails done. Soren was in his high chair
complaining, and I took his little musical toy and put it in front of him. He was
distracted and forgot for a moment. Of course, this is a trick all moms use.
When he grasps on to something he should not and screams bloody murder when you
remove it, you quickly replace it with something else. The law of distraction. This
morning however it hit me. As adults, we have an issue or a problem and we
focus on it. We go over and over it in our minds, replaying the tapes. Then we
call our moms, girlfriends, husbands and go over it again. Spiritually we are
called to focus not on things of this world but things above.
If then you have been
raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at
the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things
that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in
God. Colossians 3: 1-3
We
are actually told: stop focusing over and over on this or that. The more energy
we put on it, the stronger it will become. Cognitive therapy and the placebo
effect remind us that our thoughts indeed do form our reality.
So
thank you monster nuggles; and Master
P for reminding me about the laws of distractions, the power of persistence in
your truth, not being afraid to be, but most of all thank you for being my
sweet loves and blessing me in this walk of life. I am so honored to be your
mommy and pray daily that I can teach you wisdom and joy, and remain childlike
and open enough to continue listening and learning from you.
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