Mamie

Mamie is my 99.5 year-old grandmother. We recently had a very special visit in Argentière, France — the mountain town just outside Chamonix. From the apartment one has a glorious view of Mont Blanc. It is always special to spend sacred time with an elder, but this visit felt especially so. There could be a number of reasons attributed. Last year we were unable to visit because of Covid. This year I got to witness the introduction of my brother's wife to her for the very first time. This is something we did not know would be possible, and there we were.

But still, there was something else, something more. A few years prior, I remember visiting when many of us thought it would be the last. At that time her pacemaker battery needed to be changed (although technically it should not have needed to be yet). She was holding 40 lbs of excess water weight, which was literally seeping out of her skin. That year I saw her in the hospital where they were working hard to drain the excess liquid before the operation. She seemed so weak and tired. I would go sit with her as she dozed then woke, and sometimes tears would fall down my cheeks. Tears of unknowing, tears of fearing.

Leaving that year I still felt uncertain. Another year came, and she was fine. Then another year, and there is Covid—and she is positive … but asymptomatic, phew. Then this year, there she was—smiling and standing strong with her toothless grin. She lost a few front teeth since the last time I had seen her. Somehow this loss of teeth had a beautiful charm when paired with her graceful smile. It seemed to bring out a child-like lightness.

An especially endearing moment happened when Soren (whose love of chocolate is no secret) was sneaking his finger in the open Nutella jar while waiting for his crepe. Mamie caught wind of the fun and began digging in too! The cutest scene — watching Mamie and Soren sneak chocolate together, and after each sneak looking at each other giggling, hardly aware that Mommy was taking it all in, all the while feigning obliviousness. 

Mamie, who cared so much for her svelte Parisian figure. She was queen of the castle.Creating exquisite meals and fine drink for anyone who came into her home. Such a conscientious hostess, she noted in her journals to whom she served what, so as never to insult one by offering the same meal twice. Such thoughtfulness and care were just a natural part of her humble character. She did all this selfless service in custom made outfits for her strong, slithe figure. She worked out daily and took care to never overindulge. She was a model of perfection. 

Here she was, a plump great grandmother, not thinking for a moment on calories or form. Giggling joyously with abandon as she enjoyed Nutella with her little, like-minded friend. I looked at her then, always with admiration. I look now and see all that and more. She is Venus of Willendorf, the archetypal woman in all her glory. Mother, maiden, crone, and child all in one.

There were other times in the apartment that were not so joyous. Moments where she would gaze longingly out at the mountain top. Tears would roll down her cheeks. Tears of unknowing … tears of fearing? She talked about being so old, all her friends were gone, her husband too. She wondered what it all meant. Why was she here and not there? I tried to cheer with the usual “how nice is it that you are here with us, your daughter, grandchildren and great grandchildren”. What a glorious tree you have created, nurtured, and which will continue to grow. These tears however ran deep, deeper than I might understand.Reflection  from the depth of her being which needed thought and healing tears, no matter how late the date.

She developed an interesting habit or tic in her old age. She continuously rubs the top of her head, gently. A few years back that spot lost all its hair. We tried to put a scarf on, or remind her, but the habit persisted. This year something was different, the hair had grown back. Somehow this feels hopeful. As I watch her gently rub the top of her head, sometimes with her childish grin and at others with her melancholic gaze, I ponder. It is as if she is massaging her crown chakra, the one known as “the bridge to the cosmos”. Interesting. 

I also think about babies and how much we love to touch and rub their heads, feeling their little soft spots and kissing them ever so gently in this endearing yet fragile expression of their beings. Is she mothering her own spirit, preparing it for the next phase? Completing goodbyes, finding forgiveness, letting go of what was and basking in what is. I wish she would never go, of course. If fate would have it she will be here for many years to come. She is my heart, my life line, my inspiration. At some of the darkest places in my life she was my light. I find gratitude in her existence, her light, what a beautiful and precious gift this, Mamie of mine.

Boundaries and Priorities

It seems to me it would be better if — instead of an introduction which might typically go something like: 

“Hi I am so and so . . .”, and in response, 

“Hi so and so, I am so and so . . .”, followed by, 

“What do you do for a living?”, 

— we started by introducing our names, and then followed by our respective priorities and boundaries for a given topic. Most people have very distinct priorities and generally where this treasure is, so lies their hearts. For some people this might be their children, spouse or family in general. For others, maybe their career, personal passion, political cause etc. 

Knowing the heart is fragile and something to be dealt with care, maybe once we acquire the understanding of where their hearts lie, we tread lightly. Perhaps we do not tread at all and merely allow the space for the other to elaborate or express this arena freely. Not adding or judging just allowing. Then if we wanted to approach any given subject we might say,”What are your boundaries in regards to such and such?” Then right up front we could respond with, “Oh ok, my boundaries are this”, then we could allow people to see it is just a boundary and not a personal affront or insult.

I am reminded of a recent visit with a sister-in-law. She is single and is on some on-line dating sites. We proceeded to talk about encounters, success in this area etc.

She then mentioned coming across someone in a triangle (three-person relationship). She proceeded to say how this just seemed off and wrong, maybe unnatural, that there were most likely other issues that are underlying when people were comfortable engaging in these types of relationships. 

Later that evening a different conversation came up, this was in regards to her parents non-acceptance of unmarried couples having intimate relations, particularly under their roof. She was both furious and disgusted with this idea and expressed herself quite clearly on the matter of her disapproval. 

I thought to myself, isn’t it funny that she herself can have such a clear boundary in the realm of sexual expression, but her parents having a different boundary—albeit essentially both boundaries—could exude such a reaction. 

I am sure she was completely unaware of the complete acceptance of a boundary in her own esteem and the total rejection of another boundary in the same realm. I was not there to point it out to her, but it struck me as curious nonetheless. If subjects were approached in a neutral manner, and any boundary in and of itself—is acceptable and does not have to correspond with the others boundaries, so many needless confrontations, animosities, relationship ruptures could be avoided. 

The key seems to be a spirit of humility. Ascribing themselves to what one knows, or at least feels to be genuinely good and right, all the while maintaining that they do not necessarily know what is good and right for any given person at any given time. Sometimes entering strongly into a “wrong” can lead one to a convicted right and good. So the question remains was it truly a wrong, or maybe just a step on the pathway to something better?

Is outside imposition really effective or does true transformation begin from the deepest recesses of our own being? I think about this a lot. My thought is that both are important. Sometimes that outside push and using the will towards good in turn transforms the spirit. Other times quiet reflection and allowing a process to unfold bring about a real, but subtle and gentle shift. God helps those who help themselves, and yet all true transformation is the work of the Holy Spirit. 

Life is complex and beautiful, people are complex and beautiful too. Too often something simple is made complex with out reason, causing unnecessary pain and strife. Christ leads by example. Sensitivity to the subtle and humility go a long way both in bringing us closer to Him and being able to truly love our fellow man.

A Beautiful Moment

After a bit of a grueling journey abroad, two changes, several layovers (one lasting 4.5 hours), we made it. We landed in Switzerland safe, sound and sleepy. My mother picked us up in her rental car and we began the hour and a half ride to the apartment in the Alps. We were headed to my grandparents apartment, filled with childhood memories from my youngest years. As we curved around the mountain sides careening in and out, I gazed out the window. It hit me. The absolute majestic perfection of God’s handy work, found in the gaze of the smallest flower or in this case the awe striking magnitude of His mountains. The sunlight hit the snow capped tips as the rays streamed through the peaceful, gently moving clouds. The green of the trees and the brown stone made the most complete palette of colors. God’s divine providence swept through my entire being. Everything in the world felt right at that moment. Those rare moments suspended in time, where everything and everyone makes sense in the broader story of your life. This is about me and P. 

I guess a bit of history is needed to come to the present, so I will start with a process to the now. I adore singing, the arts and the path I have taken, the accolades I have received, and also very precious moments, like the time a gentleman came up after a concert where I sang Pamina’s aria. It is an extremely challenging piece to do well. It is a piece I had worked on off and on again for years, probably a good fifteen! He said it was the most perfect and beautiful rendition he had ever heard, better than the Met! He said I was meant to sing Mozart, which rang true to the words of one of my dearest mentors and teachers. This was not a newspaper headline or being recognized from a television show as had happened in Paris years earlier, but it meant the world to me. It was a moment where I knew I had conquered the task, and even if only one person in the world recognized it, that was enough to fill my spirit with a sense of joy and accomplishment. 

All that being said, it pales in comparison to the joy, excitement and energy I feel when I watch P in his element — the climbing gym. When he makes a hard route he has been working on, it is the joy I felt singing, times twenty. We give our bodies to our children, our blood, sweat and tears. We face our own demons and wrestle with impatience, frustration and anger. We are forced to exercise the fruits of the Spirit. God is not mistaken in saying children are a blessing. Not just for the joy they give us, but for all the hard times too. They help us to become better versions of ourselves. What a gift!

It took me a while to help P find his niche. I knew he had to move — a lot. I tried gymnastics, modern dance, Tae Kwon Do, healthy kids running series, all to no avail. Nothing seemed to stick. I had almost given up hope when it occurred to me that he was constantly climbing trees. I remember a church picnic where a concerned parishioner came up to me and said, “Is it ok for him to be up there?” Busy eating my pasta salad, I turned to see where she was pointing and what her concern might be. Lo and behold, there was P at a daunting height at the top of the tree. I just about choked on a pepper as my stomach filled with butterflies. I asked in my most calm, Academy-Awards-winning voice for him to come down immediately. Perhaps that is when it dawned on me that maybe climbing was his thing. I took him to a climbing gym, signed him up for “First accents”, and that was it. He found his passion.

Growing up I often had the feeling that I did not quite fit in my family in a certain way. When we would go to the Alps in the summer and climb mountains, I felt it was hard. I was tired, and everyone else seemed to relish these physical challenges. I looked forward to tea and cookies. When we came to ski in winters, I always had to muster up the courage. Apparently I came home crying when I received my first star (premiere etoile) from the ski school. What should have been a happy moment of accomplishing the grueling task of beginner skiing, I had wet my snowsuit. I remember my brother leading me into treacherous zones and falling in powdered snow with tears of frustration and fear running down my cheeks. I remember receiving the message (directly or inferred) that I was not strong enough, not fit enough. I liked eating too much, and not moving enough. I would have preferred to watch a good Shirley Temple movie with a cup of hot chocolate, or listen to Dolly Parton and sing along. Why was I here, and why did everyone around me seem to flourish in an environment that felt too hard and no fun? 

Over the years my skills improved, and perhaps I strengthened my weaknesses, but those feelings never went away completely. I remember a time even in recent years being at the apartment in the Alps and having brought a keyboard. All of my cousins kept numerous items in “the cave” (cellar). There were skis and boots, snowboards, hiking boots, etc. But when I wanted to leave my keyboard there, it was met by my grandfather with abject rejection. It felt personal. Sporting was good, music was less-than. It fed right into my deep sense of failure in the areas I had been placed.

Many years later, here I was staring at the beauty of this most perfect place, and I felt peace. Total, complete, perfect peace. It wasn’t about me, it never had been. It was about P. How could it be that my dear first born—whose biggest passion in life is climbing—was going to be spending time in one of the best climbing areas in the world? Divine Providence. It is a beautiful moment when you feel so fully absorbed in something other than oneself. The giving up of one's life is so much better. Christ is never mistaken. 

There was a period of time when I did find a niche in my “sporty” family. Seems I was a natural swimmer. When I happened to fall into the water at the age of two, my father paused for just a moment. He was just about to jump in the water when he saw me begin to doggy paddle and stay afloat. I guess my baby fat finally came in handy, and swimming seemed to be the one sport in which I was naturally gifted. I worked hard for many years and even got some double A times in the USAA ratings. Butterfly was my thing. I swam summers and winters, day in and day out, several hours a day and meets on weekends. 

When I was about thirteen I noticed the girls around me were growing taller and getting stronger. I was 5’2, and it seemed that is where I was topping out. Being the logical person I am, it became clear to me that the odds were stacking against me, and in all honesty, I was burnt out. I quit overnight and did not swim another lap in a pool for many years. I had the thought, recently seeing my P so passionate and devoting so much of his being to climbing, and I wondered if a similar scenario would ensue. However, as I learn about climbing through him and grow in my understanding of rules and terminology, techniques and strategies, I understand that there are advantages to being taller and other advantages to being smaller. Climbing seems to be a sport that has equanimity woven into it’s very fabric. 

The other thing that I have seen in this sport is something so unique to the competitive nature of the sports I grew up around—the dog-eat-dog-winning-at-all-costs mentality seems to be nonexistent. The camaraderie and support I see at the gym where P climbs is beautiful to witness. Everyone seems to cheer on, inspire, mentor and comfort each other . It reminds me of a most touching moment in the Dawn Wall film that brings tears to my eyes each time I think about it. Tommy Caldwell and Kevin Jorgenson spent years training together to climb the dawn well. At the top of the wall, very close to the end, Tommy made the next steps and could have easily gone to the  top. Instead, he stayed where he was and waited. He said he would not feel any joy without his friend Kevin accomplishing it with him. He said when he got to that point, conquering his personal best, all he felt was sadness seeing his friend left behind. So he sat and he waited. In the end Kevin made it too, and the happy ending was a glorious one. In what I have witnessed, this is the mentality of the climbing world, and it is a beautiful thing.

A few days later (when P dragged his favorite uncle Ianny into town to visit the climbing store to peruse the ropes, clips, backpacks, chalk bags and shoes) a conversation began. The store clerk engaged them and asked if they liked to climb. Turns out the World Cup climbing competition was the next three days in Chamonix, right where we were!! Divine providence is quite something, enough to knock you off your feet in those moments of clarity where God’s long term vision heals every tear.

After-Thoughts on: 'What in the World Is Going On?'

I had a few more thoughts in continuation with this idea of the binary in thought or approach and the necessity of a third part in order to mediate. In a trinitarian relationship one arrives at the fullness of spirit.  A right/wrong mentality towards the law needs Christ's mediating spirit to bring it to life. The Creator is animated life-breath, not stagnant or hardened. But what is it exactly about the third element that makes it effective. If we are aiming for balance we cannot be overly rooted in merely the spirit of the law or the letter. Jesus is a perfect embodiment of that balance. He goes to the proud hypocrites (the pharisees) in judgement and condemnation, calling them Vipers. He has the moral authority being without sin—no beams for him to pluck out. On the other hand he goes to the poor, penitent and humble in love and mercy in order to draw them to him. He seems to know exactly which manner of medicine is needed and meets it out in a perfect dose. After all, he is the Great Physician. 

The point more precisely that occurred to me this AM as I ran through the winter woods was: How did he bring in the life-breath, the spirit to the hardened law? It seems he brings his presence in the present moment and in human connection, or relationship to the other. When he decides to heal on the Sabbath day, there is no looking back and holding on to an idea that this is the way it has always been done and therefore needs to be continued to be done in that way (i.e., this healing must at all costs wait until Monday). There is also no forward catastrophizing.  Even the Son of Man concedes that only the Father can truly know the future ("But concerning that day or that hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the son, but only the Father." — Mark 13:32). So he is totally and completely in the present moment, dealing with the full contextual aspect of that moment and facing the being in front of him in a humane way. There is a sensitivity to all of these varying circumstances being taken into consideration. It occurs to me that this is the key. We cannot hold on to the past nor project in the future, but are called to be here now, fully present, fully engaged, and as we are able doing so in love and mercy.

What in the World Is Going On?

I have been thinking about Unity and division as this seems to be the new word of the day (unity)—what unites and what divides and why. Obviously, commonalities unite or connect and differences divide, but in what proportions do they need to be in order to achieve harmonic cohesion? 

Christians, in my view, tend to fall into two basic camps: those that really grant great merit and credence to the letter of the law, and those that tend more towards the spirit of the law. It seems they are both equally valid. Christ shows us that  the letter of the law is not so concrete as to not have movement (healing on the sabbath day). He takes into account the full depth and context of the law and applies it to extricate the true spirit behind the law. He came into the world to fulfill the law (so we don't have to)—Phew, sigh of relief—yet still clearly states that he is not there to abolish the law, so it is still important. In his ministry he clearly calls people to repent or give up of their sin, which would also imply and point to the continued importance of the law, but does so in a way that people are able to receive, the way of Love and mercy. Regardless of which camp of Christianity one leans toward or falls into, the hope would be that the body of Christ, is the overarching unifying factor. All are one in Christ Jesus, no male nor female, gentile or jew.

I was reflecting about the similarity in politics (starting with American), the left and right and the supposed unifying factor of "the United states". I listened to a wonderful podcast a couple of years ago with Steven Pinker, a Jewish atheist, Harvard professor of behavioral psychology, and Jordan Peterson a Canadian professor and practitioner of psychology. I would say Peterson is very Christian leaning in his thinking and approach to life (though not professed) — in his own words, he "acts as if God exists". It was so fascinating to learn about personality differences, specifically trait openness and trait conscientiousness. It seems most people fall into primarily one of these two categories. 

Pinker and Peterson also highlighted the absolute necessity for both types in order to have a healthy and functioning society. They also illuminated why for example, from a historic and biological perspective, someone might be one or the other, and they show just how deeply rooted some of the traits are, even to the level of our DNA. Amazing! For example people who fall into the the trait conscientiousness category tend to like boundaries, rules, structure. They might be more prone to want to distance themselves from someone they perceive as different because historically some of these different tribes would indeed bring disease to their tribe and whole groups of people would be wiped out. So the "threat" comes not from some close-minded, hateful way of being, rather what may be perceived as a true threat. 

However again, both types are needed for a healthy functioning society. One who pushes for structure and order and one who pushes for innovation, which as a necessary element must go into chaos in order for something new to be found. Another interesting fact they pointed out was that our world at this time in history has never been so "comfortable". In sum we have less poverty — less of the world's population suffers from starvation, and overall quality of life that has never been better. Yet here we are, in most peoples perceptions we are in a terrible state. Why? The division of ideas seems to be polarized at an all time high. Are we too comfortable? Is technology to blame? Is this some cosmic planetary woo woo shift? Is God chastising his people to bring them to him by losing hope in humanity so that they will in turn seek something greater?

I know if this were a public dialogue people in the US would immediately point to 45. I would argue that division in this country was already on a strong trajectory even during the Obama years (probably before but this is when I noticed it). I for one was somewhat disheartened as my thinking was: now that we have an African American president race relations will improve. I saw precisely the opposite. I am not blaming Obama, nor Trump for that matter, just saying I don't think any one person is the cause, even if they were not the solution, or actively exacerbated the situation. I don't think it has to do with Capitalism because I also witness the same trend in Europe. Many Jewish people actually are fleeing some places for fear of their well being, which is a huge statement about division.

I wish that everyone would listen to that podcast. Knowledge is power. I wish that people would seek to truly understand the other, their beliefs and practices even if they disagree. As a friend pointed out years ago, if things are right/wrong, black/white, then God is not in it. Makes sense, the peace that passeth All understanding.  I also spoke to a healer friend who reminded me of the Trinity — we need the third element. There is a right/wrong but there has to be the third element to mediate the two and create the unity. So profound, this really resonated with me. The third element is the great harmonizer, that is where the music is, and as my choir director said, "music is Love".

Fear of the Lord

I have been thinking a lot lately about fear of the Lord. 

Not in the traditional sense so much, although there is much to think about there as well. What has been on my mind is a very common idea that seems to circulate among non believers or non-seekers. The idea that religion, or maybe more precisely, faith, belief in a higher power, or an adherence to scripture is somehow based primarily out of fear. I will start off by saying I don't think this is actually true, but even if it were, so what? I mean every human being on the planet deals with fear. We understand through many great thinkers that the fear of death is one of man's biggest fears. I would add to that, that death is an illusion that we take for truth. Christ is a doorway to understand the actual Truth. The eternal can be experientially known. 

Most spiritual practices and religions, I believe aim to give one a sense of the eternal, both as God the Father, the Great Creator, but also in realizing our deep connection, communion through Christ with Him that can be experienced. A merging of sorts. So even if fear were a primary motivator, would that not be a good thing? Being able at least momentarily or in some part able to alleviate our fears of death, the ultimate unknown, into something greater and everlasting that we can know? Our ego would like us to believe that we are all the labels and roles we play, we are our thoughts and ideas, but Truth points to something more. We can find in deep prayer or meditation a place where thoughts subside and roles drop off and yet still we exist.

So what is it that people hate about fear? I know I personally used to have very adverse reactions to fear. Cowardice seemed weak and pathetic and made me feel angry. Strange ... yet I don't think this is uncommon. The sense that I get from nonbelievers who throw the fear accusation out seems to me to be that they are angry about this, sometimes even disgusted. I think as I reflected over time at some of my own negative reactions and the observance of others reactions I realize why. Fear is the opposite of Love. People want Love, whether they realize it or not, so they reject fear. They want to throw it back at the person that represents it to them. Their being says: 'Don't give me that nonsense, I want Love'.

True agape Love does indeed cast out all fear, yet it is scary for us to truly embrace, but why?  I think it does have to do with its truly awesome power and magnitude. When one looks up at the cosmos or experiences an earthquake or any great natural phenomenon, not only is it awe-inspiring but it is scary. That kind of greatness and power can be completely overwhelming and the sense of our own finite smallness can feel powerless. The ego is confronted face to face with the illusion of its existence being something real. 

Another interesting thought on this matter is the idea that psychologists  espouse and to me rings true —that people are in fact more fearful of success than failure. Isn't that interesting? It makes sense, who in their lives has not failed at something, so we know what that is. We may not like it, but we know it, therefore it is safe territory. Success on the other hand is the unknown, and that is scary. It seems that this explains self-sabotage, a strange way to protect one self from the scariness of the unknown. 

Another thing that I find people really hate about religion is the rules or laws, if believers stand by them. Again, the accusation is that one keeps them out of fear. The accusation is that the person is too weak and cowardly to think and act for themselves. But I think the anger in this accusation is misguided under the idea that somehow you have to follow all the rules in order to get it right and be worthy of Love. The classic perfectionist flaw: if I am not perfect am I still worthy of Love? 

Of course none of us are perfect, Christ's sermon on the mount seems to me the great and perfect example of just how far the law and spirit of the law go. Even your misplaced thought can get you into a great deal of trouble! Ironically if understood properly, this is a huge relief. We actually don't have to get it right, to have and receive Love, all we have to do is be willing to admit we don't have it all right and that's enough. 

Repent. Repent of the idea that we have it right, that we know it all. This I think is such an interesting point that so many non believers misinterpret. Even why many reject Christ. Is it a fear to really see their own sin, or the fear of the inability to get it right all the time? Or even a rejection to be told there is a right way and a wrong way? (yet all people do hold to a "religion" of rights and wrongs whether acknowledged or not). Are we afraid of accepting that which we all want, yet on some level we feel we don't actually deserve? Love. Maybe that in itself is a scary thing to actually confront. 

I don't believe people go to Christ or that follow religion do so out of fear. I believe they are drawn to something that the deepest levels of their being, whether understood intellectually or not, are drawn to as true. I think people look to scripture, not because they are unable to think and discern for themselves but because they want to dig deeper than a surface understanding. Repentance is not just about allieving personal guilt, but a way to surrender again and again to something greater. Fear is not just about some punishment in the afterlife, but fear of the awesomeness of God, of the unlimited potential, through whom all things are possible. Fear of our own greatness, that could lead us into unknown parts of our own being. 

It is very easy to sit on a soap box mocking the stupidity and simplicity of those who follow a book of rules and can't think for themselves, or entertain some silly idea that religious devotion makes one feel better about themselves for their awfulness by being washed clean with the blood of the Lamb. I beg to differ — it takes courage to confront ones own being, the deepest levels of ourselves. To not lie and believe the flattering illusions and false righteousness we give to our "good deeds" but knowing and surrendering to our own helplessness, and resting not in ourselves, but in something  greater than ourselves.

A Koan Poem

 Christ is the Only way to God.

This is not a religious statement nor a commentary on any religion.

Let the triggering begin, emotions equal our sacred messengers.

The answer is in the key; Seek and ye shall find.

Let the truth set you free.

Love Is Love?

So the other day reading through Facebook I came across a post by a friend who frequently  criticizes  Christians and mocks, or is expressing frustrated reactions about Christians. 

I find them interesting, and not unique, as even most Christians have criticisms of other Christians. Sometimes I feel like yelling across Facebook so all could hear: "Christians are followers of Christ, not THE Christ himself!!" Alas, it would probably fall upon deaf ears, and maybe that is a good thing. This could be a call to Christians to examine themselves more deeply, more thoroughly. 

Even though some in the world may despise Christians, they still look to and expect them to live up to Christ's teachings, even if they themselves completely reject them. Isn't that interesting? What a fascinating impact Christ has on the world.

This person of whom I speak is a non believer, and any Christian should not be surprised about not only criticism but even hatred or persecution being sent their way for a belief and commitment to Christ's words and teaching. He himself very clearly says this will be the case, and if we believe the other things he says and teaches we are right to believe this also. It was the case in his own time and remains the case today.

Her statement was something to the effect of: "I have a super hard time dealing with Christians that cherry pick the Bible. The Bible teaches you to love thy neighbor and to do unto others as you'd have done unto you. LOVE THY NEIGHBOR. Did Jesus say 'love thy white neighbor'? Nope love thy neighbor, simple right???" Well, maybe that seems simple, and certainly conceptually that is true, but I would argue that in practice, it is quite complex.

Ok, so aside from this very quote being a cherry picking of sorts (Luke 10:27 says: "love thy neighbor as thy self"), to her credit, it is connected with what Jesus says is the first and great commandment —"Love the lord thy God with all your heart, with all your strength and with all thy mind". "On these two commandments hang all the laws and all the prophets" (Matthew 22:40). So if one were to give a hierarchal structure to the Bible, one might rightly place this (the two great commandments) at the pinnacle. 

So it made me curious as to what cherry-picked verse would actually encourage this kind of justification? I may enter into a direct conversation to find out (depending how much time I find in my day), but it occurs to me that most likely the true discussion is not about a verse that would admonish such nonsense (to not love one's black neighbor) but rather, maybe about the question: What is love? The Bible says: "love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (1 Corinthians 13 v1-8). 

This post was written by the same person who said recently "love is love, not a sin" while advocating for an add affirming gay rights. So I think this is actually an interesting discussion and one that is overlooked and over simplified. Love is indeed Love, but is all sex just sex and created equally? Maybe the question is: because one loves someone does that make engaging in sex right and good? Clearly the answer to that is no. Obviously most people today would concede (though at former times societally accepted and encouraged) that pedophilia is unacceptable, and more so, extremely damaging for the victim. The pedophile may "feel" that he or she loves the child, but clearly that feeling is rooted in a self-seeking desire and not true Love as the Bible would define it. There are also people who fall in love with objects and/or are sexually aroused by objects. Some people I learned recently are sexually stimulated by the idea of cutting off of their own limbs. So then the question clearly goes beyond one's feelings, and one might say even what is good for one's own well being. 

Jesus was without sin, so loved perfectly. We, being sinners, cannot necessarily love perfectly at all times, and probably most times. Oftentimes we love but are loathe to remove our own judgements and restrictions, even boundaries on our love. We love our children completely yet are prone to anger and impatience in that love. We have strong feelings and desires about how they should and should not act, and have a very hard time separating out those desires from a perfect love. So they exist simultaneously side by side, interwoven; a perfect love and our sinful natures weaving in and out of our interactions with those we truly do love so deeply.

Christ had the beautifully admirable ability to Love perfectly and with complete mercy and compassion and advise that which is right and good, to give up one's sins. 

It seems to me we are called to love and love fully as he did, and yet we love our own thoughts and judgements many times more. We skew our ability to Love out of a primary allegiance to our ideas, or aversion to someone else's thoughts and ideas.

Perspective, I believe, can be a helpful tool, allowing the other to have their boundaries and limits. Acknowledging that we too have our boundaries, they may be wider or more narrow, but they exist. These ideas and boundaries need not be translated into a character statement or flaw. 

We will never love our neighbors properly if we must love every one of their thoughts and belief systems (and perhaps actions that extend from them). This might also raise some more points about the earlier passage. What exactly does it mean to love the Lord thy God with all thy soul, heart and mind? How many of us are actually successful at that? And if not at that, then the second, how do we love ourselves properly? How many of us do that? It follows the obvious conclusion that if we are having trouble doing the first two properly, then likely we are going to fail at loving our neighbors properly too.

Thankfully Christ never says we have to be a perfect master of every law. He came to fulfill the law for us, but not to abolish it. I think the most powerful lesson is that we can love someone fully, all the while fully disagreeing with any number of behaviors and choices the other makes. Love them as they are, where they are. I think Christ's demonstration of this is so clear. Just because someone may have a gross or what one might call an outwardly obvious sin that they have not conquered (in one's view) does not necessarily mean that it is any worse of a sin than a dark deep secret sin. Sin is sin, and no ones escapes. However, if one truly embraces God's sovereignty then where that person is, is exactly where that person is meant to be, and it is not your personal responsibly to be the judge and redeemer of that. 

On the other hand it can be a slippery slope. When we love someone, we do genuinely desire their good, true and ultimate good, not just a desire to make someone feel good in the moment. How does one balance these "impulses"? If my child wanted to cut his arm off, clearly I would aim to persuade him otherwise for his own good. So how do we love and accept someone fully and all the while encourage their ultimate good as Christ does? I suppose the answer is in the question, take it to Him in prayer and let the answers be given unto you, for he who seeks shall find. Aim to love in a way that fits the beautiful descriptives in the Bible. Is it kind? Allow the other to think and believe what they will and love them anyway no matter what. 

July in Charleston

Time the elusive king,

At times belabored, each minute holds eternity as the years rush by.

The seasons change and the children grow, as our spirits long for Him.

The great I Am, in the here and now, why are we always seeking the next?

Our nature so stubborn and contrary.

I long to be the bird flying in each moment of ecstasy, 

Reaching the heights of the heaven,

No care in its feathers — free to fall, a child's souvenir.

I yearn and reject simultaneously the complexity of the most evolved... or not?

We waste our youthful energies on the superficial masks,

Upholding the burden of illusion until the weight becomes so heavy our shoulders ache.

We yearn for human touch, yet fleeting it will so soon fall, the vanity of it all.

Why do we waste our breath and crush our spirits? 

The rivers teach us otherwise in their flow so effortless and pure.

The rocks soak up the back-rubs, cooling and caressing without a thought or care.

The hours pass so slowly, how to fill each empty moment? 

We try to feign an interest in these small and minor acts, 

Yet all the while knowing our powerlessness before the Great One.

How to walk with joy and gratitude, when the weight of mere existence presses upon us?

Some days the end seems so inviting, but those we leave behind 

Will then be the ones to carry the loss of what you were called to hold. 

They will long for your container of that which is most high,

The container of the one who resides.

We breathe and continue to sow a path of sorrow, 

Gain strength to carry on, despite the humidity bearing down on our souls, 

Calling to that most deep of slumbers.

We climb the stairs once more, pleasuring in the dull ache of sore muscles and bones, 

Our funny companions so loyal and warm, remind us of life.

We plow, we plot, we think too much and another day is gone.

Lessons from Meditation

The mind is a parrot — squawk, squawk, squawk — repeating what the soul already knows.

Echoes of nonsense, always having to comment on this and on that,

Reveling in its own brilliance, trusting in the subtleties unfurled.

I knew that long ago, says the Truth, veiled deep below.

So hush little bird, you have said too much already,

Repeating and repeating as if somehow that completes the tasks undone.

Rest now in the depth of the true wisdom of old.

I know you, you know me, before time began,

Eternal, everlasting, unchanging within.

Hush little parrot, just sing a pretty song.